7 easy ways to get your toddler to listen to you – the bad mom blog

Just a blog about being a mom and being mostly bad at it.

7 easy ways to get your toddler to listen to you

7 easy ways to get your toddler to listen to you

Easy peasy

Ha! Did you seriously just click on this link thinking that I know how to get your kids to listen to you. No, sorry. I know your pain. I physically feel your pain, but unfortunately have no idea how to get a toddler to listen to you. Sorry for tricking you into reading my blog.



Here’s an unhelpful list of things that do not work šŸ™‚

1. Yell. Scream. – there comes a time where you’ve repeated yourself more than 346 times and all you have left in you is to scream it to your kid. This does NOT work. It feels good in the moment, and then that good feeling is met with immediate guilt. AND the kid still doesn’t listen, so don’t even try it.

2. Ask them nicely. – granted, this oneĀ sometimesĀ works. But if they really don’t want to do what you want them to do, it’s not going to work. Sometimes I even offer a big hug if they do what I’m asking and that has yet to work. I guess I need to work on my hugging skills.

3. Try to outsmart them – I have a fucking expensive 4 year college degree. I’ve only gotten a C once in my entire life (in a painting class for christ sake) and never anything lower. You’d think I could outsmart a 2 year old. Nope. I can’t. They catch on too quickly. — side note: this works perfectly for dogs (errr. most dogs).

4. Have patience – if you ask a toddler to do something, they will never do it immediately. Just know that. Since becoming a mom, my patience has grown – tenfold – but I still can’t outlast my kids most times. I’m not sure how much patience is needed to be a perfect mom. When I find out, I’ll let you know.

5. Lock yourself in the bathroom to avoid #1 happening – this is what happens when your patience runs out – and it will. Locking yourself in the bathroom is never a bad idea, but it also doesn’t help them listen to you. Just take the time, gather yourself, and come to the realization that a pair of toddlers are controlling your entire life and sometimes, that’s okay.

6. Bribe them with candy – this mostly works, let’s be honest. That’s why we all end up doing this. But it’s not a good habit and I know the dentists out there are upset about this tactic. Butttttt it fucking works – if you’re in a bind.

7. Give up and just hug yo kids – always end with hugs. So what if your kid is running around the house with underwear on his head? Oh, he doesn’t want to take it off his head before you guys leave the house to go grocery shopping? Whatever. You be you, kid. Give that boy a hug and be proud to push that little weirdo with underwear on his head around in a shopping cart at Target.

Other moms will look and possibly judge. But some moms will look at you, totally understand and give you props. The second type of mom is the one you want as your friend. Mostly because they have wine at their house.


If anyone has other things that work (or even don’t work) to get a toddler to listen to you, leave it in the comments! HELP US!!!!

Whatcha think?