why do I not get to my desk until 9:15am?
I work in the technology industry – in the actually technical part of the company. This means I work with 90% males. Also, it’s a start up type company, so the average age is like 26.
My desk is surrounded by these single 20 something manboys. And each morning, I get to my desk at 9:15am and I get the shit from them.
“Oh, where ya been? We’ve been waiting on you to show up” – “What, did ya sleep in today?” – “We thought you weren’t going to come in today.”
So this post is dedicated to those douche canoes. Here’s all the shit I do in the morning BEFORE 9:15am.
- Alarm goes off at 5:45am – Snooze
- Alarm goes off at 6am – Wanna snooze so bad. Can’t snooze at this point. Gotta get up.
- Check the emails – anything urgent?
- If there was a “big game” last night – check the scores – I’ve gotta keep up to date on that with the boys at work. Okay, I also kinda like sports. I know, I know.
- Put on workout clothes – make sure hair is not sticking straight up – ponytail time
- Pack my gym bag – actual clothes to wear for the day
- Take the dog out
- Feed the dog
- Put the kids shoes, jackets and my bag in the car
- Pour them milk/oj in their cups to go with their morning snack
- Try to find a “healthy” morning snack for them to eat in the car – something not too messy and not too sugary – I haven’t found anything that meets this criteria that my kids will eat, so this week it has been potato chips or those pre-packaged mini muffins that are like 500 calories per bag
- Wake up kid #1 – he always wants to sleep in. I literally drag that 40lb 3 year old out of bed and carry him down the stairs.
- Set 3 year old down in front of the toilet and beg him to go pee – I know you gotta pee, just fucking do it so we don’t waste 8 minutes arguing about it.
- Do the same thing in front of the sink to get him to brush his teeth – and no, you can’t do it for him, you can’t even put the toothpaste on the toothbrush for him. You just have to watch him struggle putting toothpaste on the toothbrush and watch him bush his teeth as slow as a fucking snail if a fucking snail had teeth.
- Time to get 3 year old dressed – he doesn’t like what I pick out for him to wear – let him pick out his own shirt and, of course, he can’t find anything he likes – he wants a shirt with a VERY SPECIFIC paw patrol character on it. We don’t own a shirt with that character on it and he doesn’t understand why I can’t just get it for him…. at 6:30am.
- Finally dressed – we go wake up the baby one (she’s 1.5)
- She’s fast asleep – turning on the light doesn’t wake her – she is also dragged out of her crib. But she is way lighter than the 3 year old, so that’s no biggie.
- She lets you dress her and brush her teeth (for now) but her legs don’t work until at least 8:30am so she needs to be carried out into the car (hence why we pack the car first)
- I buckle them all and put their shoes on
- Drive to daycare – we pass by 2 middle schools on the 4 mile drive to daycare so at 7am this takes roughly 20 minutes. Side rant – please, for christ sake, let your middle school kids take the bus to school. They are old enough. No need for EVERYONE to carpool one kid per car.
- Unbuckle – carefully the parking lot into the daycare
- Drop off baby girl – she cries and reaches for me when the teacher takes her :heartbreak:
- Drop off big boy – he doesn’t cry but demands a hug, 4 squeezes, and a kiss before I leave and then he suddenly can’t let go of my hand :heartbreakingmore:
- Shake it off in the car and drive to work – another 30 minutes in traffic
- Check on the kids on the video cameras in daycare and they are fine and playing with their friends – those little tricksters
- Get to work
- Go to the gym – I am spoiled that I have a gym at work. It’s a game changer.
- Bust ASS and get that SWEAT on!!!!
- Shower in a gross gym locker room – I do get to listen to really loud music cause no other women really use the gym at my office
- Skip drying my hair – it’s bad for your hair, and I don’t have the time
- Stop by the coffee machine – that triple shot cappuccino was well earned by this point – I know, I’m also spoiled that my office has a cappuccino machine – sorry not sorry
- Boom – at my desk – ready to work 9:15am
- Now just endless meetings, presentations and emails. That’s all.
Now manboys – what did you do before 9:15am?
Let me guess – Wake up at your apartment @ ummmm say 8:45. Showered and drove to work.
Oh, you live really close to our downtown office because you don’t have expenses like kids/daycare and don’t care at all that the school district is shitty? Great for you.
I love those guys though.
What do you do before 9:15am?
XOXO – A