kids – the bad mom blog

Just a blog about being a mom and being mostly bad at it.

Tag: kids

10 ridiculous elf on the shelf ideas

10 ridiculous elf on the shelf ideas

Please add “elf on the shelf” to the list of shit our parents didn’t have to do and now we HAVE to do it. Do you know a family that doesn’t do this ridiculous tradition? No. Everyone does it. Congrats to the people who thought […]

8 things you’ll miss after having kids

8 things you’ll miss after having kids

First off, I’m not exactly sure what my 24 year old self was thinking when I wanted to have kids. I guess it was just the natural hormones telling me “have kids!” “have kids!” “It’ll be great!”, but honestly, I don’t think I actually sat […]

The bad mom Thanksgiving

The bad mom Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is such a weird ass holiday. Ya know. You just eat a bunch of traditional foods (that honestly kinda suck and are difficult to make) and then hang out with family and then nap. I enjoy a holiday that soely revolves around eating and not having to buy and wrap a crap ton of presents, but it’s still stressful.


The best part about the holiday is that it really does make you think about what you’re thankful for; and god am I thankful for these kids of mine. They make me laugh everyday. They provide endless love. And they are super duper cute. Also, the rest of my family. A loving husband, mom and dad, my beautiful grandma, aunts and uncles and cousins and my mother in law all spoil the crap out of us with love and I’m so very thankful.

But on to the real shit that happened today —


I woke up at 8. I am also thankful that my kids love sleep as much as I do. I know 8am sounds like a blessing to most moms, but I still think that’s too early. I could sleep in until 1pm if you’d let me. I have no idea when the fuck I’ll be able to do that again? Maybe in 12 years? God that’s depressing. I do let my husband sleep in on the “weekends” because I’m the best fucking wife eva; so it was just me and the kids for a few hours and I was ready to cook and play.

I must have woken up super audacious and decided to make chocolate chip banana pancakes this morning. I always have to make something with the rotting bananas on our counter by the end of the week. Want a quick freebee recipe? K, here ya go –

  • Step 1: mash a nasty old banana (or 2) at the bottom of a bowl
  • Step 2: add 2 cups of the pancake mix (you know the boxed stuff from the store)
  • Step 3: add one egg and a cup of milk
  • Step 4: eat about 52 chocolate chips
  • Step 5: put a handful into the batter
  • Step 6: cook ’em – ya know, like how you cook pancakes….

Done – I feel like it’s kinda healthy because the box will tell you to add 2tbs of sugar and I don’t do that. The bananas add the sweetness – oh yeah, and the fucking mounds of chocolate chips.

If you can flip them like me – extra mom bonus points to you. And your kids will think it’s cool… maybe…



Okay, well that was the worst idea I’d ever had. I still needed to make mac n cheese and roasted carrots for thanksgiving. This all was fine. Just fine. Spending 2 hours in the kitchen cooking while tearing apart pieces of banana chocolate chip pancakes and stuffing it in my face (I probably ate at least 5 pancakes by the end of it), all while still running around with the kids. I’ve done it before, I’m super mom, I can fucking do this.

No, it was pull-your-hair-out stressful


My daughter learned how to open the doors in our house today. Anyone with a toddler will know the fucking nightmare this is. We have the really stupid oval shaped door handles in our house. They are beautiful, but god, is it easy for a toddler to open them. So I spent the morning running around, yelling at them for slamming the doors and kissing her little fingers each time she slammed them in the door. Oh and they locked themselves in the bathroom and played with toilet water…… It’s really a mystery how I didn’t burn the shit out of all the food.

I then spent what felt like 3 hours doing all the dishes that filled up my kitchen after cooking. Shoot me in the fucking face.


Little one napped while I showered alone – ahhhhhh the best. Then husband yelled at me for taking too long of a shower – wahhhhhh



Then we go to my parent’s house for thanksgiving lunch. Thank GOD this was at my parent’s house – I totally bypassed the other dishes that were bound to be worse.

I’m lucky and so VERY thankful that my parents live 10 minutes away from us. If only they would both retire early from their jobs, I’d be set. But – ya can’t have everything 🙂


We sat down to eat. Plates full of random goodness that we never normally eat. My son ate one carrot (because I forced him) and then just bread and turkey.

My daughter ate bread. Just some fucking bread.

The girl ate the eff out of that bread though. She’s little – 20lbs or so. Girl ate 3 big af rolls. — I also ate 3 rolls and a plate full of food, but that’s another story.

Carbs are delicious af. We all know it.



We then actually had a ton of fun playing in leaves and going for a walk until pie and ice cream which was then followed by running around like crazy people and then full on crashing.

And we end this with nap time for everyone. Turkey just does that to you. It’s science. If you don’t nap on thanksgiving, you aren’t human.


How was your thanksgiving and what are you thankful for this year?






Photo by NordWood Themes on Unsplash

So, you wanna know what it’s really like having two kids?

So, you wanna know what it’s really like having two kids?

I have two kids. I know what it’s like now, but when I found out that I was pregnant a second time (oh shit. surprise!) and my son had only just turned 1 a few months ago, I was terrified. I couldn’t wrap my head […]

7 easy ways to get your toddler to listen to you

7 easy ways to get your toddler to listen to you

Easy peasy